BOXING vs. MMA

For all the recent talk about MMA's ascension and boxing's death rattle, I was surprised to read today that the big Chuck Lidell fight (can't remember the other guy) is expected to get only like 1,000,000 PPV buys, and at only $35 a pop. For comparison, Mayweather-DLH did 2,000,000 at $55--so basically three times as much money. And the live gate numbers for previous big MMA fights were a fraction of what the Mayweather fight did, like $5,000,000 vs. $20,000,000.

I mean, I'm not saying that MMA isn't kicking ass or that boxing doesn't have serious problems--its fan base is almost as old as MLB's--but MMA apparently still has a long ways to go before it can match the draw of a big time boxing match.

And some of the problems with boxing could eventually be resolved. Once Don King dies--hopefully by being beaten to death by some ex-fighter he dicked over--and Bob Arum, who's also like 80, maybe it'll get easier to get big fights together. And maybe MMA's success will finally drive boxing to centralize its governing bodies and make a "championship" worth something. Like the NFL, NBA and MLB show, everyone gets complacent when everyone's making a ton of cash. But if MMA keeps taking a cut of the "guys whaling on each other" pie, that could bring about some quick and desperate action.

A big time heavyweight champ kicking ass and taking names wouldn't hurt either.

I do think MMA is here to stay and will keep getting bigger and bigger, probably eclipsing boxing at some point. The sweet science doesn't seem like it can hold up to the heavy action and true beatdowns in MMA with the hyperbrutal video game and slasher movie crowd.

But there's no reason boxing can't hang on, there's room enough for the both of them. The Mayweather numbers show there are still a ton of people who will pony up to see two great fighters go at it, and there are things boxing can do to try to amp up the action. Like Larry Merchant said before the Taylor-Spinks snoozefest, they need to reduce the size of the gloves and the size of the rings (some of 'em are like fucking polo fields), and stop rewarding fighters with decisions when they've spent the entire "fight" running away like Frenchmen.

Another possibility--and I can't understand why the market hasn't already dictated this--is to simply stop putting these ultradefensive fighters in big time fights. OK, Winky Wright, you're a technically great fighter, but tough shit--your fights are boring, so why is anyone giving you any money to do it? Completely healthy sports like the NFL can still maintain the delusion that they're not in a pure entertainment business, with their athletes no different than Tom Cruise or Kelly Clarkson. But boxing needs to face facts--your fighters are here to entertain, period, so if they don't do it, if they don't put on a good show, get rid of 'em and find someone who can. If I were a boxing promoter, I'd never put Wright in the ring again. Let him sit in a 400-square-foot apartment content with the fact that he was a great technical fighter, I'm giving the millions of dollars to guys who *entertain*.

You have to incent fighters to be aggressive, to force a brawl to happen. This can happen with the judges' scorecards, for sure--any round where one guy is constantly coming forward and forcing the action and the other guy is constantly on retreat and only throwing counterpunches should go to the aggressor, period. This is where boxing's lack of centralization hurts, if it had just one or a few organizations, they could put pressure on the judges to interpret the rules in a way where they favor that kind of boxing which is most pleasing to the fans.

But the promoters and broadcasters deserve more of the blame. Give money to entertaining fighters, don't give money to Winky Wright, Bernard Hopkins, Floyd Mayweather and other pussies who turn a goddamn fight into Dancing With The Stars. And when they bitch about it, tell 'em to either sac up and brawl or find another profession. I mean, this Wright-Hopkins fight that's coming up, what a fucking mess. Even the HBO commentators were not-so-subtly implying the fight would be godawful, with backhanded compliments like "this is a fight for *true* boxing fans to appreciate". Well if I'm the president of UFC, I say, "You keep the "true boxing fans", give me the guys who just want to see two men kick the shit out of each other."

So (awkwardly) turning this full circle, I applaud the MMA's success and I hope they keep on kicking butt. Competition is always good, and especially for something, like boxing, that's been a mess for years and desperately needs a wake-up call.

The funny thing about David Stern...

...is that, look, he starts with the premise that the single most important objective of his office is to stop his black players from acting up. Why is that so important to Stern? Because in Stern's mind, that 'acting up' might piss off the largely white fan base of the NBA, especially the upper middle class & rich guys who are basically the only people who can afford to consistently go to games. So ultimately, he does what he does because he thinks the fan base wants it that way. He may be an autocratic asshole, and his actions may be pointless or obnoxious, but that motive--to please the league's fans--is more or less pure.

So now he makes the call on Amare and everyone--and I mean everyone, there's virtually no voice of dissent--is pissed off and thinks it was the most idiotic decision in the history of sports commissionership.

So what has he done here? Simply put, he's pissed off NBA fans because he's afraid of pissing off NBA fans. Sure, upper middle class and rich white guys don't like to see black guys fighting. They also don't like to see the fucking integrity of the game messed with. And they don't like to see world class sporting events decided by short fat guys in suits.

The latter two things happened. The first--black people fighting--did not. It was a nothing of an incident, something that's happened literally thousands of times in the game's history. This wasn't a tough choice between two unpleasant alternatives, this was a slam dunk in favor of ignoring the non-event and maintaining some semblance of fairness and integrity in the fucking game. It's an absolute no-brainer.

But here's what really pisses me off. Stern makes his call, absolutely enrages his league's fans, and then immediately goes hyperdefensive--the hallmark of someone who knows he's FLAT FUCKING WRONG. But instead of being a man and admitting he fucked up worse than any league has ever fucked up, he just ups his already prodigious bitchiness to new and dizzying heights.

Dave, Dave, stop being a little cunt for two seconds and take a step back--why do you do the things you do? Why does this whole NBA thing exist? Why are you so worried about fighting? It's all because of the fans, right? That's the only reason you do anything, because it's what (you think) the fans want you to do.

Well, pal, the fans have spoken. And they're right. By definition, they're right. Even when they're being stupid and unreasonable--e.g., getting their panties in a wad because a couple athletes throw a few half-hearted punches in the heat of battle--they're still right. They're the customer, they get to decide what they do and don't like about your product, and whatever they decide, on whatever basis--they're right.

So don't get defensive, don't get bitchy--you made your decision based, ultimately, on what you thought the fans would want. But you were just dead wrong about what side they would take in the "black people acting up" vs. "integrity of the game" question. You were as wrong as wrong can be. You couldn't get any wronger than the wrongness of this decision. You could be wrong a hundred times a day for a hundred years and only just begin to reach the level of wrong you've achieved here.

I know you can't admit that. I know insecure and stupid people like yourself and George W. Bush are completely incapable of ever admitting error. But you know you're wrong, and we know you're an imbecile. I guess that's going to have to be good enough for me. Until the next time it happens--and it will. People like Stern/Bush never, ever, ever change. To insecure autocratic asswipes like these clowns, admitting you're wrong and doing something different the next time the situation arises is basically an admission of having a small cock.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS

1. Amare is really, really, really important to the Suns. They had *nothing* inside the entire game, and not having that inside presence really let the Spurs extend their D out to the three point line. The Suns got fewer good looks in that game than they do in most *halves* of games. Christ, it seemed like half their offensive possessions down the stretch ended up with Kurt Thomas taking a 15 foot jumper. KT played as tough as anyone has a right to expect, but you aren't going to go very far trying to ride on his back.

2. Tim Duncan might still be the most valuable player in the league. He was unreal on the defensive end, just completely shutting down everything the Suns did. Their defensive gameplan basically boiled down to:

A. Bowen on Nash like a dingo on a baby.

B. Everybody else play tight D on the perimeter and give up the drive.

C. Duncan takes care of everything else.

And he did. Some of those blocks were just sick, he was erasing shots out there. And that run in the second half where he scored like 5 straight times down the court, that changed the game. Once the Suns were forced to start doubling him, the Spurs got good looks the entire rest of the way. If they had gotten hot shooting the ball (instead of being ice cold most of the game), they probably would've run away with it.

3. Bruce Bowen is a brilliant defender, Raja Bell is just pretty good--definitely not a first-team all-defensive guy.

I always thought Bowen was a bit overrated, but I think that's because Kobe doesn't seem to have much trouble with him. But Kobe always dominates smallish defenders, the longer guys like Marion and Prince are the ones he sometimes struggles with. But what Bowen has been doing to Nash in this series has completely opened my eyes. Nash is still putting up decent numbers and making big plays--no one can shut down a player as great as him--but man, Bowen is really making him work out there. I can't believe how many turnovers he's forced Nash into.

Raja Bell, on the other hand, couldn't do shit against Ginobili in the second half when the Suns needed just a couple key stops. How many goddamn times did he go under the screen & let Manu have a free look at a 3? That's *terrible* defense. It's one thing for Barbosa to struggle with Ginobili--as he did--but when they switch Mr. First Team All-Defensive over there, I expect him to make a difference. He didn't, and Ginobili won the game for them.

I KNEW THE LAKERS WERE DONE FOR...

...when Kurt Thomas hit those fucking shots in the first quarter. It's like, shit, don't we have enough to worry about with Nash-Amare-Marion-Barbosa, now we have the biggest scrub on the team knocking down 12 footers like he's the fucking Mailman?

That was the end of Thomas's contribution to the game, but the final boxscore tells the tale--LA shut down Nash completely, Amare had a so-so game (and would've sucked if the refs didn't keep bailing out his wild shit), Barbosa was somewhat limited (but deadly when it counted, as always against the Lakers), Marion had a nice game, but you figure you hold 'em down if only 1 out of those 4 guys has a great game--and yet Phoenix still goes for 120.

Diaw, Thomas, Bell, and James Jones all play great, Kobe has a mediocre game to offset Odom's heroics, the Lakers' scrubs redefine uselessness, and it's a comfortable win for the Suns.

Farmar and Odom led the Lakers with 2 assists. 3 other guys had 1. Still, they shot .478 from the floor and scored 110, offense wasn't really the problem. It's that nobody on the team can D up Nash, nobody can D up Barbosa (which makes them like every other team in the league), nobody can D up Amare. So they basically need to add 3 defensive superstars, and *maybe* they can play with the Suns.

Until then...

I gotta tell you, if they deal Andrew Bynum for Garnett this offseason, I won't be disappointed. I'm starting to shift over to the "Kobe has only so many good years left..." camp.

I think Bynum is oozing with potential, but he still has a long, long, long ways to go, and it'll all come down to whether he has the superstar mentality. A dominating physical specimen like Shaq can have way less of a competitive drive than freaks like MJ/Bird/Kobe and still be one of the 10 greatest players of all time--that's not Bynum. He's got some serious physical gifts, but nowhere near Shaq's level. If he's not a very hard worker, if he doesn't strongly develop his skills, he won't be a superstar, period. And it's hard to gamble on a 19-year-old multi-multi-millionaire living in Los Angeles being a "very hard worker". I know *I* wouldn't be in his situation.

Give me Garnett and I still don't think we're talking about a slam dunk championship caliber team, but it's a hell of a lot closer than what they'd be for the next 2-3 years while waiting for Big Andrew to grow up. I don't know, maybe that is a championship type team after all--especially with Nash about to hit the downside of his career. I mean, who knows what happens when you put together two hypercompetitive guys like Kobe and KG, with Odom playing a more comfortable role as third fiddle rather than Pippen to Kobe's MJ.

But I'm not sure how the money works out without Odom being involved. Kwame is attractive, being in the last year of his contract (and for NO OTHER REASON), but he makes half of what KG makes. Plus the Lakers would probably rather wait a year and see if KG will opt out of the last year of his deal and be a true free agent--right when the Lakers may have cap space. KG would have to take a pay cut, but he's made a boatload of cash already in his career (especially since he's trying to out-whore Snoop and Peyton in the TV commercial game), he may well be ready to leave some money on the table to join a contender.

I don't know. I just hope the Lakers' braintrust doesn't panic and do something stupid. Giving up one of the most promising young big men in the league for a true star with several years of prime left like KG is one thing; dealing him for a dinged up 34-year-old on the decline like Jason Kidd is another altogether. That's a panic move, and yet I hear tons of Laker fans pushing for this to happen. I understand their impatience--I too feel like Kobe's prime is being wasted--but impatience isn't reason enough to throw away the future on something that still won't get the Lakers to the next level.

DID GOLDEN STATE SHOOT ITS LOAD?

They had it. They motherfucking *had it*. So now they have two more chances, including one in front of the most raucous crowd the NBA's seen in years, but when do you see a major underdog have it *right in their hands*, blow it, and then still triumph in the end? It seems like when the favorite steals a game, they always end up taking the series.

Still, if Dallas is now favored to win the series (and I'm sure they are), I might bet Golden State. I certainly didn't see anything today physically that makes me think Dallas has figured out how to consistently beat these guys.

Not that I have anything against Dallas, mind you, I'd absolutely love to see a Dallas-Phoenix conference finals, but how can you not root for Golden State? Talk about some wildly entertaining basketball. Brilliant offense--the dumbasses who keep acting like this is a run-and-chuck type of offense don't know what the hell they're talking about; Golden State hasn't taken 50 bad shots in this entire series and they've basically put on a clinic in ball movement.

And they've played surprisingly solid defense (up until tonight). Sure they've given up points, but only because they give Dallas so many possessions. Their man defense has been pretty damn stifling, Dallas is taking way more contested shots than GS is.

And the thing that gets me is that GS can hold its own on the boards. Other teams have tried this same philosophy, go small and kill the other team with your quickness while daring them to beat you with their size--especially when they're not used to doing that (how many times has Dallas posted up Nowitzki on his 6'7 defenders, like, 4?) But those teams always blow it when the opponent completely controls the boards on both ends. Dallas is a big team, but it seems like GS is pretty even in rebounding for the series. They're small, but this might be the most athletic 8 man rotation in NBA history. And tough as goddamn nails. Barnes and Pietrus are warriors out there, everything Dirk's not--up until the last 5 minutes of this game where Dirk came up large and saved himself from being the biggest goat in the NBA playoffs since Charles fucking Smith.

Baron is just a freak. He's having an all-timer series. It makes you wonder what his career would have been like if he'd never gotten hurt; fuck, we'd probably be talking about him being neck and neck with Nash, honest to god. He never would have been the shooter Nash is, but he'd have been like a better ballhandling/passing Wade, a guy who's unstoppable going to the basket and a crazy-good finisher--*and* who can shoot well enough to make you play him honest. Plus he's a brilliant ball-defender, probably the best in the league. He's wreaking havoc all over the court--I can't believe his energy level, not many players can go that hard for that many minutes a night consistently. And his teammates have been only slightly less frenetic.

I cannot wait for game six. I think the same thing everyone else does, game six is the series; if Golden State blows it with that humongous home court advantage, it's over. If it comes to it, game 7 will be like a 20 point blowout, mark it down. But I think game six is 50/50, a true tossup. I'll tell ya this, Dallas isn't going to win with Dirk taking a snooze for 43 minutes. WTF was going on with him? Yes, you're double teamed. Just like Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Kobe, Vince, T-Mac, Lebron, Wade, BARON DAVIS in this series, and every other great player. Figure it out. When all you can really do is score, you better figure out a way to put the ball in the hole, double team or no.

And you know what? Half the time when he was passing within a millisecond of getting the ball, the double hadn't even come yet! Shoot the goddamn ball! You're 7 feet, your defender is 6'6...so....what's the problem? Hoist it up, baby. Fuck, for all Kobe's faults, I'll take a guy who doesn't run away and hide when his team needs him. I've seen Lebron and Vince and other sleepwalkers do that in regular season games, but I've damn well never seen a player as great as Dirk do that in the playoffs. Up until those last 5 minutes, he had taken TWO SHOTS in the second half. When he finally shoots, he puts up two 3-point daggers. Makes no sense. Are you a superstar, or aren't you? Game six will tell us a lot.

I'd like to give a prediction, but I just have no goddamn idea what's going to happen. None. You figure one of these games GS is just going to go ice cold, but not when 90% of the shots they take are either wide open jumpers or strong takes to the basket. One factor that could really kill them is officiating. They've thrived on pretty much let'em play type of games (defensively, that is; there have been a ton of bizarre offensive fouls called in this and every other playoff series this year, which has resulted in more flops than a Brazil-Italy soccer game.) But if the game gets called tight, GS will have to either relax its all-out pressure defense or suffer through some major foul trouble with a thin rotation. Hopefully the crowd can influence the game and keep it at the same standard that's been in play the rest of the series.

But I just keep getting the nagging feeling that Dallas will continue to have no answer for Golden State's freakish athleticism. I mean, seriously, has there *ever* been a more athletic group in the NBA than Davis-Ellis-Richardson-Jackson-Barnes-Pietrus-Harrington-Biedrins? Especially those first six, they're all 6'4-6'8, all quick as hell, all can jump out of the gym--*and* they're all pretty damn skilled on top of it. What a fun team to watch.

I guess I'll call Dallas with a miracle win--again, I don't know if this makes logical sense, but we've all seen it a million times where the underdog shoots its load and can't recover--but I'll be rooting like hell for Golden State, now tied with Phoenix as my second favorite team in the NBA. A conference finals between GS and Phoenix would just be game after game of orgiastic basketball joy. But let's not think ahead, Warriors, we got some work to do Friday.