DISTURBING OBSERVATIONS FROM LAKERS-CAVS

So I watched the hideously ugly Lakers-Cavs game today, and came away with the following thoughts:

1. Lebron still looks like he's out and out throwing games. He must lead the league in fall-away jumpers by a hundred. I love when announcers talk about his 'unselfisheness'. Pfffffft--he's the most selfish fucking player in the league. So he throws a couple sweet passes, BFD. That's not what unselfishness is. You know what's selfish? Popping a bunch of gay fall-away jumpers--which is easy--and not taking the ball to the basket--which is hard. Especially when you're a terrible shooter, like James. Those fall-away jumpers are 20-25% shots at best, the opponent will let him take those shots *all fucking day*. And he does.

If Mike Brown weren't about thirty seconds from getting his ass canned, he'd be benching Lebron right now--the team clearly played better without him today. If I were Brown, I'd go down swinging; tell James (and the media) that he's coming out of the game if he's shooting jumpers, period. And stick with it. If you get fired, you get fired. Hey, you're getting fired anyway if James doesn't get with the program and the team gets bounced in the first round of the playoffs. Fucking call his ass out. Learn from Phil Jackson here; when Kobe and Shaq were going through funks like this, Jackson basically went out to the media and questioned their willingness to win, their work ethic, often their very manhood. It seems childish--but it worked! Especially with Shaq, you could always count on that fire getting lit underneath him and the big fella coming out and wreaking havoc on the entire league for the next two weeks.

Even Dwyane Wade is criticizing James now, saying James lacks "that pep in his step", and that "he isn't all there". Wow. I mean, when's the last time you heard of a player in the league calling out another player like that?! Wade's basically saying LBJ is sleepwalking through games--which everyone in the league knows but somehow isn't being reported in the media.

I love how sports fans save their rage for guys who--gasp!--talk a little shit, and guys who--gasp!--throw a punch in the heat of battle, and give a pass to pieces of crap like LBJ and Vince before him who coast through games and basically steal money from the organization and its fans. What James is doing right now is 1000 times more offensive to me as a sports fan than what Carmelo Anthony did (I guess it's actually an infinite times more offensive to me, since my level of offendedness at a guy throwing a single punch is zero--big goddamn deal).

So the question is, is James just really in a funk that he'll break out of, is he mentally and physically drained (i.e., 'being a pussy') and will grow out of it in a few years with added maturity and a better work ethic, or is this a sign of things to come, like with Vince? I don't know, man. I know it seems pretty crazy to pass this harsh a judgment on a 22-year-old, but I know how people are--you could see the drive with MJ, Kobe, Iverson, KG, Wade from day one. I just don't see James having that. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still an awesome player and will probably end his career as a HOF lock--but when it comes to measuring up against the greatest of the greats, well, you don't get to just coast on your physical talent and be mentioned in that group. I don't know, maybe he'll end up being a guy like Shaq, immature and unfocused most of the time, coasting through the regular season--but turning it on in a big way once the playoffs roll around. I guess we'll see. All I know is that right now, he's a shell of the player he was the last couple of years, and nowhere even close to an MVP candidate.

2. The more disturbing observation is that, even with everything in #1 being true in spades today, the Cavs still beat the Lakers, putting them at 3-5 on a hugely underwhelming road trip that they spent mostly down double digits to crap-ass teams.

Kobe's kinda reverting back to 'stupid Kobe'--not as much with the bad shots, but making a lot of idiotic decisions with the ball. He must have tried to split the double team against the Pistons 15 times--and lost the ball 10 of them. Hey, if you're not getting the call, then *stop doing it*, how hard is that? The guy just ain't bright, it's really as simple as that. When you start with that premise, all of Kobe's flaws become pretty easy to understand--he's just a very dumb guy.

But I can understand him wanting to try to take over the game more, since his supporting cast has been dropping a collective pantload for the last couple of weeks. Lamar Odom is a turnover machine--and is probably second in the league to James in 'dumbass fall-away jumpers that have no shot in hell of falling'. He's just been awful; like the Cavs with James today, the Lakers were better when Odom was on the bench--no hyperbole, both teams played noticeably better with James/Odom on the bench. Odom took 6 threes today. 6 threes from a 33% shooter should never happen. Again, if I were Phil, I'd tell him to literally *never take a three*--and if he did, he was getting his ass benched. Odom is a great player when he's taking the ball to the basket, utterly useless when he's not. I don't know why a coach has to force pussies like Odom and LBJ to do what they're good at (well, actually I do know--because it's hard), but it's pretty clear that they have to. If you let them do what they *want* to do, be prepared to watch a bunch of bricks get tossed up from the perimeter. And watch a bunch of Ls pile up.

Andrew Bynum is hitting the wall in a big way, he's disappeared completely in the last week. 29 minutes and 2 boards today, I don't even know how that happens. Maurice Evans is second only to Josh Smith in "most astonishingly athletic moves to the basket without finishing". Hey, it's real great that you're *so* quick and can jump *so* high--now put the goddamn ball in the basket. A guy like Joe Johnson could never *dream* of having Evans' athleticism, but he knows how to put the goddamn ball in the basket once he gets there.

Speaking of guys who toss up a bunch of prayers, Smush Parker is shooting 5 threes a game in February games and is hitting 28% of them. He has absolutely no business taking that many threes. Yes, you're wide open--why exactly do you think that is? Brainstorm with me, why does it seem like no one ever guards you beyond the three point line?

Now we're finding out Kwame is out until (six weeks after they said he'd be back) and Walton is out until (3 weeks after they said he'd be back)--christ, even the training staff is dropping the ball now. I've seen a lot of sprained ankles, but how many of them take two fucking months to come back from? Are you sure you don't need to amputate? Neither of these guys is great, but they play crucial roles on this team. The half court offense has been stagnant with Walton out (and Odom smoking pot before every game), and you need to have a backup center on your roster when your starter is 19. I mean, even old man Ilgauskas was riping up Ronny Turiaf. Christ, if James wasn't such a giant pussy, you could probably put *him* in at center against Turiaf, they're practically the same size.

I'm still on board with the 'championship in 2009!" idea, and I think they'll be a lot better once everyone gets healthy--but man, this has been just a brutal stretch of shitty basketball. Like the Cavs, it's pretty clear they're just not even remotely close to the real championship contenders this year. But the Lakers have Andrew Bynum as (*potentially*) a big giant light at the end of the tunnel--the Cavs's roster for the next 2-3 years is set, and they're only going as far as James takes them. And right now, that looks like *maybe* the second round.